Lets talk about this whole swine flu mania going on, everyone needs to calm down.Every year or more there is something that the news says is going to take over the world, bird flu, mad cow disease,etc. germs have been around forever and its inti mint that people are going to get sick and die from these things. And now drug companies are saying everyone needs to go and get tamiflu and carry it around…are you serious? you know how expensive that stuff is?and who is to say that it will even work against the killer pigs? well don’t be insulted when you walk into a store or anywhere else and your forced to wear a mask, people are crazy.
I could just post a whole bunch of blogs about different subjects but nah i will just write whatever i want:) so lets see wedding is in less than two months, it looks like everything is taken care of, just a few minor details left to do like alterations, and hair appointments,and of course getting the wedding licence. so looking good June 20th we will be married yay:) also we just got the Nintendo wii couple days ago its all cool and fun and stuff:) my job is the same, today the highlight was gross feet…..eww. but it could be worse…..oh which reminds me of a super gross story about an envelope and something that should not be in there…use your imagination. its funny i had so much to write about but i cant even remember….rats.
I have been suffering from allergies for years now, I say suffer because it sucks. But anyways I bring it up because I have noticed a few triggers that make it worse. First off cigarettes and second cheap bad perfume, you know the kind people wear that lingers in the room hours after they leave, and makes you want to rip out your nostrils? yea so combine those to elements and you have a deadly weapon against me. Great now you all know how to destroy me.
I remember being 19 yrs old and being completely lost and confused. I used to spend hours in the bathroom or shower crying. It was the only place that I could go to without anyone knowing I was crying, no one would know the pain and the sadness I felt inside. sometimes things in life were just too much too bear, the secound Ileft the sanctuary of the bathroom it all started again, the yelling, the name calling, the worthlessness,then go to work and same thing feeling worthless and wondering why am i alive? why do I let the people do things to me? I am a doormat, Iam here just to be used and walked on..who will miss me when I’m gone?I was mad at God for creating me,and in my head blamed him for the bad things that happened to me, I was young why did those guys hurt me ?I was a little girl. I came to a really low point when Isaw a knife on the coffee table and grabbed it and ran to the bathroom…..luckily one of the guys staying at my house broke the door down and dragged me out. I rarely like to bring up my past because it is just that, its something I am not proud of, but my heart hurts and I know people are suffering from the pain they feel from life. I just want to say there is hope, there is a purpose, Iknow life can be hard and at times overwhelming and unbearable but don’t try and fight it alone you never will be able to win, get help and most importantly ask God for help. I would not be alive without God helping me and without the kind of friends who stood by me and refused to let anything happen to me and I am forever grateful.
I am super tired today. I just could not sleep last night. First I was just laying there thinking about all the stuff we talked about at the meeting last night, then When I finally fell asleep I would wake up every 15 minutes, yes I checked the clock. So basically my head hurts and my body has that tingling feeling, you know that really gross feeling…anyways it sucks. And I still have many more hours until I can be home in my bed…….sigh
I was reading a news article about the speech obama told to turkey….here is a quote he said, (“Many other Americans have Muslims in their family, or have lived in a Muslim-majority country – I know, because I am one of them.”) Out of the whole thing I am picking this sentence mostly because when he was running for president he refused to say he was Muslim. Now in his own words he admits to being Muslim. This really is End Times. And no its not because he’s black, its because the things that are happening are prophetic.Trying for peace in Israel…yes we have been trying for decades for peace, lets move on the natural disasters, the hardened hearts toward God, the same sex marriages, the whole do whatever feels good thing. The list keeps going, its really scary to think that so many people are lost, and don’t believe in heaven or hell. Well you are wrong! there is a heaven and most defiantly a Hell. The only one that can save you is God. I am in no way forcing God or religion, God is God I don’t need to argue my case, God works on hearts. I do want to say that your life will never be complete no matter what you have in your life, unless God is in the center. You could be the most wealthiest person in the world and have every material item imaginable and still feel empty. No amount of love from another human being will fill that hole in your heart. There is a God shaped hole in every ones heart that only he can fill. My life was so empty without God, I looked in every area to try and fill that void. Everything from drugs to relationships even taking things because of desire to have more and not be poor. That was so many years ago it feels almost like it was just some bad movie I watched. It all changed because God left the 99 to find me.I went from having nothing to having everything.Need examples okay, I went from working fast food and being a drug addact,living with my parents to going back to school, getting a way better job,having my own place, and of course I am finally getting married, and He’s the most awesome guy you could ever meet. I am happy I don’t have any kind of depression or anger issues anymore and with God on my side all things are possible:) I might need to make a part two I gotta go but this is just something to think about.
On a weird note, this random person tells me they had a dream about me. I was pregnant…um unless its miraculous conception that’s not happening. I told her I’m engaged but that’s about it. I don’t think she believed me, weirdo. Anyways I read Ronnie’s blog about the bugs, well today I’m being attacked by nats…I guess they like my plant I have in my office…oh and mushrooms were growing in there too….weird.
I have been trying to figure out why I am in such a bad mood today. I know between lack of sleep and just life I am annoyed. Every single person that comes in contact with me is just being dumb and it does not help the situation, I’m tryingto keep mellow and all I am getting is people yellingat me on the phone or bugging me in person. I just want to be alone, away from people and there drama and rudeness. I bet you I am just pms-ing or something…figures ( why else would the things that don’t matter bother me?) And why is time going by so slow? And why is there eight footed ducks? lol j/k I am just being dumb
Went cake tasting last night,cakes were goo. would not recommend eating alot though, very rich stuff. This morning I’m pretty tired got home little after 12, it wouldn’t be so bad but every night I have been going to bed late so it’s catching up with me. I feel so drained and emotionally tired, I feel like such a baby, sometimes I really hate myself for caring about other peoples feelings, but yet I couldn’t imagine myself as a heartless mean person its just not me. well the one issue that’s bothering me ,I’m just praying about it. I don’t know what will happen but ,I know whatever is suppose to happen will….