Lost

I remember being 19 yrs old and being completely lost and confused. I used to spend hours in the bathroom or shower crying. It was the only place that I could go to without anyone knowing I was crying, no one would know the pain and the sadness I felt inside. sometimes things in life were just too much too bear, the secound Ileft the sanctuary of the bathroom it all started again, the yelling, the name calling, the worthlessness,then go to work and same thing feeling worthless and wondering why am i alive? why do I let the people do things to me? I am a doormat, Iam here just to be used and walked on..who will miss me when I’m gone?I was mad at God for creating me,and in my head blamed him for the bad things that happened to me, I was young why did those guys hurt me ?I was a little girl. I came to a really low point when Isaw a knife on the coffee table and grabbed it and ran to the bathroom…..luckily one of the guys staying at my house broke the door down and dragged me out. I rarely like to bring up my past because it is just that, its something I am not proud of, but my heart hurts and I know people are suffering from the pain they feel from life. I just want to say there is hope, there is a purpose, Iknow life can be hard and at times overwhelming and unbearable but don’t try and fight it alone you never will be able to win, get help and most importantly ask God for help. I would not be alive without God helping me and without the kind of friends who stood by me and refused to let anything happen to me and I am forever grateful.

One thought on “Lost

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s