End Of Chocolate

Day number 3 without chocolate. I don’t think I had mentioned that along with this medication I have to take I can not have caffeine, which includes chocolate. probably the most saddest thing ever. What is cool i that it really is not too bad I think my body realizes it will make me feel worse so I havent had too many cravings and the cravings I do have disappear pretty quick…ok this has gotta be quick I am kinda busy:)

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Heart Update

Update on the whole heart thing. I now have to take medication for two weeks than ware the monitor again. I have been feeling awful and so  so tired. I really can not handle anything stressful, my heart starts hurting and i feel like my chest is caving in, it sounds like anxiety but I guess it’s not. It’s going to get better my heart was beating at 157 then yesterday got down to 52. today it’s normal at 70 so I am feeling a little better still tired and I just had these sharp pains that lasted about a minute but oh well at least my heart is beating normal for now. It is kind of scary I really do not want to have a heart attack at 28 years old. But God is God and there is a reason for all this madness..I am just waiting to figure it out.

My Heart

it is friday night i will be off work in 7 minutes. I just had a heart monitor put on. It helps i work for my dr. I don’t need to wait for an appointment or wait weeks to be scheduled for one. i actually put monitors on patients so its good too i can relate to them having to wear this thing for 24 hours. so my heart has an irregular beat i guess, i really only feel it at night so here is where the monitor comes in. but God is God and its going to be ok…I’m young its weird to be wearing this.what if me having repeated broken hearts caused a physical problem..wouldn’t that be so weird? not likely but still just a thought

Thursday

well its thursday morning and its busy. i am excited about getting to leave early today at 4. lol yes i am excited about leaving 1 1/2 hrs early:) now I am drinking some Starbucks I think they put an extra shot in there it’s very strong, that’s ok though I have no energy so it helps. So I feel like I am just taking up space, I don’t feel like I am contributing to anything. I am in such a rut I do the same thing every day, so my question is how do I break out of it? yea sure I could try and do something different everyday but what? most of the things I would want to do involves money. I try and drive a different  route to or from work just to be different. I have noticed one thing I am doing better at work I seem to have more motivation.and now an interesting but sad fact, we have those bug traps here at work you know the sticky ones. So a lizard got caught in one and one of the girls got freaked out. so i took it outside but unfortunately i can not pull him out he was stuck to it and there was even a dead one in there too. so sad i had to toss the trap but i really tried to save the lizard:(

Not Cute

So I was wondering how many people out there think it is cute for your child to flip off a camera or someone and also cuss? I find it really disturbing it is not adorable, it is not cute and it is teaching them to be immature and disrespectful at an early age. I really wonder why some people are parents. these kids are our future they are going to make all the important decisions later on in life…..does that not scare you? don’t you people want to raise your children to be the best? to be someone who can and will make a difference? it’s just annoying because why can’t people see they are not helping the situation they are making it worse. children absorb what they see and hear so if you are an idiot your children will be too. I don’t usually try and put other people down or hurt anyones feelings, but this is just ridiculous. I am not the smartest person either but if i had kids i would want them to grow up and be somebody. well gotta go…just think about it.