moms issues

Here is a little window to my morning. My mom comes into my work to see the dr and decides she would non stop talk about dying. She talked of cutting herself, not wanting to live, not caring about if she gets an infection and dies, the list goes on. So I am about to cry, completely traumatized that she is talking like that. Now my mom in the past has been an attention seeker. It is very hard for me to decide if she really is depressed or crying wolf. My whole life she has feed off complaining about whats wrong with her and seeking attention and sympathy. I don’t want to come off as heartless but I just don’t know if it is all real or fake.  I can see that she has multiple reasons to be depressed but does she really have to tell her daughter that she wants to kill herself? And normally a person who does kill themself they don’t tell people they just do it. I don’t believe my mom would do it. She has said she purposely says these things to get a reaction from me. She is trying to hurt me. I have been bad in the past when I was a teenager and I have apologized. I am an adult I have been on my own 9 yrs, things change why does she want to hurt me? And more importantly how can I get her to stop and enjoy however many yrs she has left? She has not had an easy life, I understand that but it is never too late to change your way of thinking. I am hoping that I will not become like her as I get older. I would rather hold everything in and not seek attention than to be constantly looking for something to complain about. I have noticed that I have been starting to complain some and I just need to remember that it is not worth it and it is so annoying.

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